How Making Things Up Together Helps Us Deal With Reality

judetrederwolff
3 min readMay 28, 2020

“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away,” wrote science fiction writer Phillip K. Dick and in these highly unusual times, we are dealing with realities we might at one time have had trouble believing. Wearing masks. Staying away from stores and public gatherings. These acts of civic duty were not on our radar when we rang in 2020, nor were schools and work pivoting to online at mind-boggling speed. Even with the pandemic taking nearly 100,000 American lives, there are many around the country who struggle with the reality of it. It is a time that requires emotional intelligence — the capacity to manage our emotions in a conscious way — and willingness to slow down our reactive feelings enough to think through our choices and behavior. It is a time to identify connections to others that can transcend the barriers imposed by social distancing, and the willingness to face the many unknowns about this situation with courage and creativity. Improvisation exercises and games are a way to work on all three of these dimensions of psychological resilience, while having enough fun to make you want to keep going.

Resilience is a strength which, when we face a difficult reality that stretches our capacity to cope, doesn’t go away. It provides a kind of emotional and cognitive elasticity we need to reimagine our lives when they are turned upside-down. Improv is an ideal playground for developing this elasticity. From the very start of improv training, from the most basic activities that begin to develop the skills required for making things up together with other people, we must embrace a degree of uncertainty and discomfort, but we embrace it in a positive way with the support of others. Research published in the journal Thinking Skills and Creativity shows that responding to a made-up reality, moment to moment, forges authentic connections and thinking skills that translate into facing uncertainty in real life.

Harvard Business Review reported research showing 3 outstanding characteristics of resilient people:

1) The willingness to accept reality. A sober, down-to-earth view of the situation, not only deepens our understanding of what is required to manage it, but allows our energy to be used for solving problems rather than struggling with denial;

2) The search for meaning in difficult situations. As Holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search For Meaning Dr. Vicktor Frankl wrote, “those who have a ‘why’ to live can deal with almost any ‘how.’”

3) An uncanny ability to improvise. It is the capacity to make the most out of what resources are available and to collaborate with others as improvisers are trained to do that provide essential thinking and relationship skills for managing massive uncertainty and struggle. Improv training starts with exercises and games that are psychological “muscle-building” for responding to the uncertainty of playing without a script, props or editor. Improv is making up a reality together and then exploring it.

Hope lies in our capacity to accept what is happening in the present moment — in improv terms that is the “yes” — and shape it in a positive direction — the “and.” We can do hard things if we understand and accept the realities we must confront. We can be more elastic in our emotional responses and support one another as we figure out how to get through this pandemic together. Through learning the skills for making things up together, we can co-create reality, one choice at a time.

Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, CGP, CPAI is a consultant, trainer, improviser, and storyteller, and president of Lifestage, Inc which provides creative personal and professional development workshops.

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judetrederwolff

LCSW, CGP, CPAI, writer/performer, storyteller, storytelling coach. Improviser on team AURA at Magnet Theater in NYC. Storytelling coach for individuals & orgs